Lula 3D: Everything You Need to Know
Video gaming is a major part of the entertainment industry and adult adventure games are one of the ranges available. Combining video gaming with pornography may seem a strange combination, but these types of game have been developed for some years now.
The Lula series of video games was developed in Germany by Cdv software for Microsoft Windows. The first game was called Lula: The Sexy Empire and was followed by Lula Inside. The third game in the series pushed the boundaries and was titled Wet Attack: The Empire Cums Back.
In 2005, Cdv Software released the fourth installment, called Lula 3D, and marketed the game as having, “Bouncin’ Boobs Technology.”
Lula is a pornographic actress and producer who is planning to make her next adult movie. In this installment of the Lula series, we find her as a middle-aged woman living in a Playboy-style house. The house is full of naked or scantily clad people and there’s plenty of sex going on in many of the rooms.
Production of Lula’s next movie is delayed when she discovers that her female co-stars, who are triplets, have been kidnapped. Lula must rescue her co-stars before the movie can be produced - and so the adventure begins.
Following the abduction of the triplets from Lula’s Beverly Hills mansion, she finds a book of matches from a San Francisco club. Lula puts two and two together and realizes the matches must belong to one of the kidnappers. Lula decides to take matters into her own hands with the help of her sidekick, Dusty the dog.
Lula grabs the keys to her ‘57 Chevy and begins her mission to rescue the missing girls. Lula must visit Las Vegas, New Orleans and San Francisco to rescue her co-stars. The player must guide Lula, using the mouse and keyboard, in order to solve a series of puzzles to progress in the game.
Lula needs to speak to every character she meets in each level and the player must click on every object in the scene to progress. One of the strange things about the game is that every time Lula picks up an object, it ends up in her bra. As the game progresses it’s hard to take this seriously as there are so many items to collect.
Lula often has to perform sex acts to progress on her mission and the game player sometimes has to watch cut scenes from Lula’s movies. These movie clips are fairly poor, with a number of annoying glitches. Watching the scenes is compulsory to carry on; I feel that an opt-out option would have been a good idea here.
Graphics and Game play
Two of the most important points with a 3D video game are the graphics and the quality of the gameplay. We’ll have a closer look at the quality of the graphics and the slickness of gameplay.
Adding the third dimension (depth) to a video game that features people naked and having sex was always going to appeal to some gamers. The technology used to create 3D video games is complex and production costs are higher than when making 2D games. Video gamers want crystal clear images with no loss of definition and in some cases this just cannot be achieved.
The graphics in Lula 3D aren’t great and one of the main problems is that the porn stars all look the same. No effort was made by the game developers to create 3D characters with different appearances. The girls being animated also takes away from the eroticism and appeal.
The graphics used for the erotic scenes are prone to glitches and, at times, the scenes look like two bodies are just sliding around. There are times where a hand will go through a person's body which is totally unrealistic. There are also some flickers, due to the fact the highest setting is 60Hz.
Some of the background 3D graphics are very good and it seems that the developers concentrated more on this than on the characters. Many of the scenes are attractive but still not sharp or crisp enough to be lifelike. The 3D is not the best that’s out there but it does work well at certain points throughout the game.
Overall, considering the game takes up 2GB of space on a computer, the low quality of the 3D graphics is surprising.
Controlling Lula as she goes on her mission can be frustrating and tedious at times. When Lula has to pick up an object, the player has to instruct her to do so, even if there’s no other option. To discard an item, you’ll need to open up the inventory and go through the list to get rid of it.
There are a couple of mini-games within the main game, which require doing some target practice or shooting police and criminals. It’s difficult to see how these mini-games add to the story but they don’t take long to complete. Two or three attempts is all it takes to complete the mini-games before you can continue with the main game.
When controlling the game with a mouse and keyboard, Lula tends to move quite slowly, even in running mode. One niggle is that Lula comes to a sudden halt when she bumps into an object, small or large. She doesn't, however, stop when she bumps into Dusty and at times walks straight through him as if he doesn’t exist.
Gamers have said that it’s difficult to control Lula using the keyboard, which makes the game harder to play. Due to the fact that there’s a lot of movement, it’s easy to see why this puts gamers off.
Some of the puzzles in the game are ridiculously simple and are solved within a few seconds. Others have no logic to them whatsoever and are solved by walking around or bumping into things. It’s easy to understand why the puzzles are there but the game’s creators should have put more thought into them.
The sound is a big problem with this game and the voices of the characters could have been much better. Lula’s voice is easy to understand and she has an English accent which is pleasant. Other characters in the game have pauses when they’re speaking, which is frustrating.
Another problem with Lula 3D is fluidity of movement when trying to control Lula. A number of players have reported that when trying to turn and move at the same time the game has a tendency to crash. In some cases, the whole game will freeze; as load time is slow, this is super annoying.
The game was developed by a German company and some of the speech doesn’t match up with the subtitles on screen. This may just be a translation issue and it doesn’t affect the game. Dusty the dog sounds as though he’s in pain or unhappy as he is constantly whining and yelping, which is off-putting at times.
One odd thing with Lula 3D is that you’re given a strange option at the beginning of the game. The option is not to play the game at all and let the police handle the kidnapping so you can just sit back and watch. This defeats the object of buying the game in the first place and seems a strange option to offer a video gamer.
Is the Game Overly Explicit?
The game is about a pornographic actress and producer so there are some explicit scenes within the game. The game begins with Lula doing a striptease, and if she’s alone she’s prone to masturbation. When you’re playing the game, you’re actually following Lula from behind and therefore spend much of the time looking at her thong-clad bottom.
The game features a variety of sex scenes and it’s difficult to see why some of them need to be there. The game features straight, lesbian and bi-sexual sex, but strangely there are no gay scenes. There are twosomes and threesomes, with some bondage thrown in at certain points.
The game is not 100% pornographic, as the designers have shied away from showing erections and penetration. The sex scenes involving men and women show the man with a flaccid penis pressed against the women. None of the characters reach orgasm in the game, which is strange and unrealistic.
A couple of scenes within the game are censored and a black bar covers the explicit action. It’s difficult to understand why the game’s designers did this when the game is all about porn. It would have been much easier to leave those scenes out, to avoid having to worry about censorship.
Overall, this game cannot be described as hardcore porn, but it is very explicit in places. It’s definitely for adult eyes only, but animated men and women having cartoon sex is not exactly real or erotic. One critic even said that if people get aroused when playing the game, they should consider therapy.
What Did the Critics Say About Lula 3d?
Lula 3D was poorly received by gaming critics and most reviews were bad. Gaming critics slammed Lula 3D for its lowbrow humor which they felt was detrimental to the game. It’s useful to look at what some of the more respected gaming critics said about Lula 3D.
Eurogamer scored the game 2/10 and said that Lula 3D was childish rather than erotic and aimed at teenage boys instead of adults. Eurogamer were not impressed with the translation of the dialogue or sound design. They said that the graphics were mediocre and could have been much better with the technology that’s available.
PC Zone gave Lula 3D a terrible review, scoring it 31%; their main criticism being that the game is unrealistic. PC Zone commented that the developers were ignorant of how real-life sex works. The reviewer particularly slated the “Bouncin’ Boobs Technology,” saying it was not real or lifelike.
The online review site, bit-Gamer, describes Lula 3D as boobs in a box, with no intention of delivering an interesting gaming experience. The reviewer said the game has potential if the story and puzzles were made better. bit-Gamer described the keyboard and mouse controls as cumbersome and unreliable.
Adventure Gamers ranked Lula 3D as poor and said it is badly designed and poorly written. The critic commented that the gratuitous sex was over the top and pointless in many parts of the game. Adventure Gamers said that, overall, Lula 3D was an average adventure game but playing it is tedious, and the content could have been much better.
Rock Paper Shotgun
When Rock Paper Shotgun reviewed Lula 3D, they described the voice actors as struggling to read. The critic said that a lot of the sex was only there for decoration and was weird and empty. Rock Paper Shotgun said Lula 3D was a good example of how bad a sex-themed game could be.
If you’re looking to escape the real world for a while and want to solve some puzzles while looking at naked cartoon characters, you may enjoy this game. Playing it for short periods can be fun, as long as it’s not taken too seriously.
The writing, production, and camera work used to produce this game lack quality - and it shows. The plot is average but there’s no real story and the sex scenes are less-than-average and boring in places.
After looking at the game, it’s clear to see why there aren't more of these adult games on the market. With the click of a mouse anyone who wants to watch porn can do so, without having to load and play games. It’s unclear whether this type of video game will become more popular in the future, but after reviewing Lula 3D, it’s doubtful.